2020 is almost gone…thankfully. What started as just another trip around the sun seemed to devolve into a dive into the sun instead. The storms, fires, riots, and let us not forget that little visitor from Wuhan; altogether a rather tumultuous year. I found myself wondering what in the world that God was doing. For a disciple of the King, you have to wonder when a sitting President who has gone so far to advance the pro-life agenda would apparently lose an election when his support seemed so overwhelming. With the Democratic Party's stated agenda, people of faith would rightly be somewhat confused; but then this is not the first time God has perplexed His followers.
So, where do we go from here assuming that Biden and Harris are sworn into office in January? Earlier this month, I posted a blog, “Who is in Charge?” There I affirmed my faith and trust in He, who remains seated on the Throne and will accomplish what He knows is best. With all that has happened (and seems to be ongoing), I, like Job, repent in thinking I know what is for the best. 2021 likely be as tumultuous but reviewing how God has upset the plans of even the faithful help me look ahead with hope and anticipation. Not meant an exhaustive list, but how Scripture demonstrates how God’s plans are often not ours, along with some of the ‘bends in the road’ that I have taken that reinforce this.
Joseph, not the Joseph associated with Messiah’s birth, is one of my favorite (for obvious reasons for those who know my story). His story began in Genesis 30, where Rachel gives birth to a son. This birth, the first that Rachel had given him, became his favorite (rightly or wrongly) because of his love for Rachel. As Joseph grew, Jacob’s fawning over him, preferring him over the other brothers, served to cause hatred to grow within them. This hatred grew through the years until Joseph recounted to his brothers and Jacob two separate dreams (Genesis 37). They came up with a plan to rid themselves of Joseph, and soon he was on his way to Egypt as a slave.
18 When they saw him from a distance, and before he came closer to them, they plotted against him to put him to death. 19 They said to one another, “Here comes this dreamer! 20 Now then, come and let’s kill him, and throw him into one of the pits; and we will say, ‘A vicious animal devoured him.’ Then we will see what will become of his dreams!”
Genesis 37:18-20 NASB
Genesis 37:18-20 NASB
Reuben changed the plan to sell Joseph, and that is what happened. So much for the dreamer, am I right? Nope! God was at work, even using the brothers' plans to bring about good for Jacob and his entire family. Through an amazing series of apparent ‘coincidences,’ God moved Joseph until he was the number two person in Egypt, second only to Pharaoh. When the brothers came to Egypt seeking food, it was Joseph they had to deal with (thus fulfilling his dreams). When he revealed himself as Joseph, the brothers were rightly filled with fear on their return trip. Reflecting the grace and mercy of the God of Jacob, Joseph reassures them;
Then Joseph could not control himself in front of everyone standing before him, and he shouted, “Have everyone leave me!” So there was no one with him when Joseph made himself known to his brothers. 2 Then he wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard it, and the household of Pharaoh heard about it. 3 And Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph! Is my father still alive?” But his brothers could not answer him, for they were terrified in his presence.
4 Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Please come closer to me.” And they came closer. And he said, “I am your brother Joseph, whom you sold to Egypt. 5 Now do not be grieved or angry with yourselves because you sold me here, for God sent me ahead of you to save lives.
Genesis 45:1-5 NASB
4 Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Please come closer to me.” And they came closer. And he said, “I am your brother Joseph, whom you sold to Egypt. 5 Now do not be grieved or angry with yourselves because you sold me here, for God sent me ahead of you to save lives.
Genesis 45:1-5 NASB
Back, as if from the dead, Joseph becomes the salvation of his family in a way that no man could have done or imagined.
Job, ah yes, my old friend Job. A righteous man whom God brags on to the Adversary knowing how Satan would respond. This man, whom God viewed as righteous and blameless, went through one trial after another; he lost home, property, and even all his children in one day. He persisted in his trust and faith, even when he next lost even his health. Despite the agony his life had devolved into, Job trusted God! During the dialogue with his ‘friends,’ Job does begin to wonder (who would not?), but in the end, he is honored by God (after a bit of chastening). His confession to God (Job 42:1-6) is something that I come to again and again through this year as I do wonder (as I titled the previous blog post), “Who is in Charge?” Through horrific trials and a threesome of friends who disparage him, in the end, Job emerges, again, as the man in whom God is pleased.
David, the sweet hymnist of Scripture, is also overlooked as having any future other than being a shepherd (the lowest profession in Israel), became king of God’s people, but after some somewhat troubling times. Going from the sheepfold to the palace, serving Saul, the king, was quite a step, even considering how God used him to defeat Israel’s enemies. To then be the victim of Saul’s envy and wrath, fleeing and living in the wilderness in fear for his life, seemed to negate any chance at further usefulness. But God (my two favorite words in Scripture) was molding and shaping David to become the king that foretold the ultimate King to sit on David’s throne. Even with his indolent lifestyle after becoming king with the resultant failure highlighted in 2 Samuel 11 shows how, depending on any person is a recipe for disaster. David believed his press and soon left himself open to the temptations that afflict us all. Through this failure, God again outlines His grace and mercy and points to how sin does have consequences that we will face in this life. Combined with Joseph's example in Genesis, we see here a ‘type’ of the King who was to come (and will be coming again!).
Jesus (or Y’shua) invaded His creation in a most unorthodox manner, being implanted as a man within the womb of a virgin teenager, born in poverty far from the palace. Think of it; the Savior was born in a cave outside of Bethlehem where animals were kept. His life, even after He began His ministry, was out of the limelight. No one could have looked at this humble carpenter and seen that He is God with us (Immanuel) as prophesied by Isaiah (7:10, 14; 8:8). However, throughout His ministry, we see examples of His power over disease, disability, and even death. Speaking to a violent storm, Jesus demonstrated His command of creation, and in His death and resurrection, He forever defeated death, hell, and the grave. Even after His resurrection, we see how the apostles were still expecting Jesus to establish His earthly kingdom then (Acts 1:6). This uncommon man who is King of all creation lived in a way to not show us how to live but to show us how we can never live a life earning heaven. We can’t, but He did, and in His suffering, death, and resurrection, He opened the Way for all humanity.
Now, my life has never been much of a success; each time I seem to ‘have it all together,’ I trip and wind up in the mud (or the “…slough of despond…” as John Bunyan put it in his “Pilgrim’s Progress.”)
I destroyed my first marriage and a possible career in the Navy with behavior that was to be diagnosed with PTSD (back in 1975, this was yet to be recognized). My life seemed to be spiraling downward in some ways but going well in others. Leaving the Navy and a budding career, I chose to pursue a passion I found as an EMT and entered UNC to obtain a bachelor’s degree in Nursing. There again, my symptoms occasionally would erupt without warning (or seeming reason); trying to maintain friendships, not to mention my first marriage, was a lost cause, it seemed. Early success seemed to point to a brighter future, but again, my wanting fame and fortune led me to decisions that brought me to Central Prison in Raleigh, NC in February 1988. As I got out of the car that transported me that cold, sleeting night, I remember looking up at the outer facade of that place and remember thinking, “This is where I belong.”
I destroyed my first marriage and a possible career in the Navy with behavior that was to be diagnosed with PTSD (back in 1975, this was yet to be recognized). My life seemed to be spiraling downward in some ways but going well in others. Leaving the Navy and a budding career, I chose to pursue a passion I found as an EMT and entered UNC to obtain a bachelor’s degree in Nursing. There again, my symptoms occasionally would erupt without warning (or seeming reason); trying to maintain friendships, not to mention my first marriage, was a lost cause, it seemed. Early success seemed to point to a brighter future, but again, my wanting fame and fortune led me to decisions that brought me to Central Prison in Raleigh, NC in February 1988. As I got out of the car that transported me that cold, sleeting night, I remember looking up at the outer facade of that place and remember thinking, “This is where I belong.”
But God had a plan. Several weeks after arriving, someone invited me to go to one of the worship services, and more wanting to get out of the dormitory for any reason, I agreed. The first time was kind of ‘meh’ to be honest. I sat there and listened, but…nothing. Back in the usual day-to-day of life at Central Prison, I quickly forgot anything that had been shared. The next time, well then, that was a bit different.
To this day, I cannot recall what Chaplain Eugene Wigelsworth taught or any of the music used during the service; when the Chaplain said at the end that anyone recognizing their need for a Savior to come forward, I remember feeling like it was now or never. Standing in front of Chaplain Wigelsworth, I began to sob uncontrollably. He spoke to me briefly, telling me to come to his office after the service concluded. That started a journey that continues to this day. Unfortunately, no steady climb upward, but a rise and fall that were charted out would not seem to have any rhyme or purpose.
To this day, I cannot recall what Chaplain Eugene Wigelsworth taught or any of the music used during the service; when the Chaplain said at the end that anyone recognizing their need for a Savior to come forward, I remember feeling like it was now or never. Standing in front of Chaplain Wigelsworth, I began to sob uncontrollably. He spoke to me briefly, telling me to come to his office after the service concluded. That started a journey that continues to this day. Unfortunately, no steady climb upward, but a rise and fall that were charted out would not seem to have any rhyme or purpose.
Being released in 2011, I discovered why so many ‘re-offend’ as trying to find a job (even as a garbage man) was nearly impossible with a capital felony. A good friend suggested a career in real estate; one Broker-in-Charge took me under her wing and encouraged me, so I enrolled in a course to prepare to take the state exam as a real estate broker. This restart seemed a great fit, and I did manage to pass the course and the state exam for broker successfully. But…the issue of the felony meant that I was not automatically licensed as my classmates. Instead, I was to have a hearing before the NC State Real Estate Commission to evaluate whether or not this would happen. When I was told to bring a lawyer, I felt the first fear that this too was to end badly. The repeat of the trial from 1987 (for that is what it was, only this time the end was pre-ordained), but God gave me an amazing peace. When asked how it went by a close friend, I shared how they had said no, but that the King was still on the throne.
As with this past year, life continues not always in a way that seems to be leading to something good, but always with a recognition that God is with me. The same lessons God has taught me through the years I have had to relearn (over and over?), but Immanuel speaks to me through His servants and His Word. I have accepted that having a career is over; being almost 70, I am definitely nearer the end than the beginning. I am okay with that; since Kathy retired, we have more time to spend together, and the cats are there to provide some comfort. There is purpose in guiding folks to a parking space at Crosswinds Church and preparing healthy meals for Kathy and me.
As with this past year, life continues not always in a way that seems to be leading to something good, but always with a recognition that God is with me. The same lessons God has taught me through the years I have had to relearn (over and over?), but Immanuel speaks to me through His servants and His Word. I have accepted that having a career is over; being almost 70, I am definitely nearer the end than the beginning. I am okay with that; since Kathy retired, we have more time to spend together, and the cats are there to provide some comfort. There is purpose in guiding folks to a parking space at Crosswinds Church and preparing healthy meals for Kathy and me.
So, coming full circle, here we are at the end of 2020, and 2021 looks grim, but God is in control. Things may not have gone the way we would want, but we can and must trust the One who knows our end from the beginning. I can look forward to seeing what He will do in 2021 and rest in the knowledge that God does do all things well.
The journey continues…
The journey continues…
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