Tony's Take
  • Blog
  • About
  • Contact

Shaking Hands

7/11/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture
​For over 25 years I have noticed hand tremors that come and go; once I was offered a chance to go to medical school by a group of surgeons (they knew me through my work as a nurse in the recovery room).  They told me they would pay my way with the understanding that when I completed my training, I would join their practice.  Initially, I rejoiced at such an offer, but then had to be honest with them and held both hands out at shoulder level so they could see the tremor in both.  Though it wasn’t close to as bad as it is now, they still had to withdraw their offer.

Since then the tremors have come and gone; the only thing that I’ve been able to point to as aggravating the condition is strong emotion or stress.  When I was in prison it seemed to go away for a time (it was like my body, recognizing where I was, depressed the tremors lest I show to those around any sign of weakness).  The only mitigating factor I’ve been able to identify so far is the imbibing of scotch.  While dining with good friends celebrating the end of my parole, my hands were shaking so badly that I had to hold my water glass with both hands;  even then the contents were liable to splash over the rim.  We ordered some MacAllan 12-year-old and, while I did drink with both hands initially (didn’t want to spill a drop of that lovely nectar), soon after sipping my drink a few times, the tremors faded away for the rest of the meal.
I have been on a prescription medication that initially seemed to reduce them, but the effect did not last long.  After seeing a neurologist, he suggested changing to a different medication that I am on now.  While the hands still shake, we are titrating up until we max out the dose or, hopefully, get this “…whole lot of shaking going on…” under control.  As I type this, there are many times when I have to go back and correct a word as my trembling fingers have added a letter here and there. 
​
Chores around the house, once a joy to perform as it helped me feel useful, now seem more difficult, often impossible, to perform.  Today  I tried (emphasis on tried) to put up some curtain rods in both upstairs bedrooms.  It did not end well as my shaking kept me from doing the simplest task that I’ve done many times before in the past.  To add to it all, recently I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and placed on medication to correct the level of thyroid hormone in me.  With the initial dose, I felt some improvement (I had been getting tired very easily along with other symptoms), but a recheck of my blood levels had the PA raising the dosage.  Once again, initially I felt fine, but as that level increased the longer I was on the increased dose, my body went crazy!  

Picture
​Ladies, I have an inkling of what you go through in menopause; there are times when the top of my head starts to feel warm (almost hot), then the sensation seems to sweep down to affect the rest of me.  Boy howdy, is that a rush or what?  Sweat follows and then, with the air-conditioning, I get cold.  Are we having fun yet?

Picture
So, I go on hoping that my thyroid and I will reach an accommodation and that the tremors will finally be gone.  Until then, I am (as ever) grateful for a loving and patient wife who puts up with my silliness.  The frustration I feel can result in an angry outburst, but today I was able to remember what Amy Gressler has been teaching me and was able to calm myself and avoid such behavior that I know hurts my beloved.  Recently I began taking a yoga class at Hope Community Church through the Military Family Ministry they have there.  It is intended for Veterans and their spouses and has taught me yet again that yoga is a great cardio workout for me.  The instructor, toward the end of the class, gave us a calming mantra to remember that seemed to rub me the wrong.  It was; “I am in control, I am safe.”  As a disciple of my King, that just didn’t fit with who I strive to be in Him.  So, I changed it to something more biblical; “I am in Christ, God is in control; my future is secure as Jesus owns my soul.” 

The journey continues…

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Photo Business

    Author

    Former submarine sailor, paramedic and nurse who journeys toward the horizon ever hopeful, though at times less sure, of reaching that far place.  

    Archives

    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    September 2019
    May 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    November 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    November 2015
    August 2015
    May 2015
    March 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013

    Categories

    All
    Anniversary
    Band Of Brothers
    Business
    Cancer
    Cats
    Cat Theology
    Christ Mas
    Christ-mas
    Civil Rights
    COVID-19
    Dr. Martin Luther King
    Equine Assisted Psychotherapy
    Faith
    Family
    Gethsemane
    Grace
    Harborreins
    Heroes
    Hope
    Life And Death
    Lynch Syndrome
    Military
    New Year
    Orphans
    Our Children's Place
    Overlooked Victim Of Crime
    Palm Sunday
    Peaceful Protest
    Photography
    Post Traumatic Stress
    Power Of Words
    Prejudice
    Prison
    Protest
    Racism
    Second Chances
    Struggle
    The Corrall
    Theology
    Time
    Triple Fork Creek
    Uncertaintly
    Unemployment
    Unsung Heroes
    USO NC
    USO-NC
    VAMC Durham
    Veteran Suicide
    Wetland Conservation
    Wonder
    Yoga Warrior

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly