For over 25 years I have noticed hand tremors that come and go; once I was offered a chance to go to medical school by a group of surgeons (they knew me through my work as a nurse in the recovery room). They told me they would pay my way with the understanding that when I completed my training, I would join their practice. Initially, I rejoiced at such an offer, but then had to be honest with them and held both hands out at shoulder level so they could see the tremor in both. Though it wasn’t close to as bad as it is now, they still had to withdraw their offer.
Since then the tremors have come and gone; the only thing that I’ve been able to point to as aggravating the condition is strong emotion or stress. When I was in prison it seemed to go away for a time (it was like my body, recognizing where I was, depressed the tremors lest I show to those around any sign of weakness). The only mitigating factor I’ve been able to identify so far is the imbibing of scotch. While dining with good friends celebrating the end of my parole, my hands were shaking so badly that I had to hold my water glass with both hands; even then the contents were liable to splash over the rim. We ordered some MacAllan 12-year-old and, while I did drink with both hands initially (didn’t want to spill a drop of that lovely nectar), soon after sipping my drink a few times, the tremors faded away for the rest of the meal.
I have been on a prescription medication that initially seemed to reduce them, but the effect did not last long. After seeing a neurologist, he suggested changing to a different medication that I am on now. While the hands still shake, we are titrating up until we max out the dose or, hopefully, get this “…whole lot of shaking going on…” under control. As I type this, there are many times when I have to go back and correct a word as my trembling fingers have added a letter here and there.
Chores around the house, once a joy to perform as it helped me feel useful, now seem more difficult, often impossible, to perform. Today I tried (emphasis on tried) to put up some curtain rods in both upstairs bedrooms. It did not end well as my shaking kept me from doing the simplest task that I’ve done many times before in the past. To add to it all, recently I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and placed on medication to correct the level of thyroid hormone in me. With the initial dose, I felt some improvement (I had been getting tired very easily along with other symptoms), but a recheck of my blood levels had the PA raising the dosage. Once again, initially I felt fine, but as that level increased the longer I was on the increased dose, my body went crazy!
Since then the tremors have come and gone; the only thing that I’ve been able to point to as aggravating the condition is strong emotion or stress. When I was in prison it seemed to go away for a time (it was like my body, recognizing where I was, depressed the tremors lest I show to those around any sign of weakness). The only mitigating factor I’ve been able to identify so far is the imbibing of scotch. While dining with good friends celebrating the end of my parole, my hands were shaking so badly that I had to hold my water glass with both hands; even then the contents were liable to splash over the rim. We ordered some MacAllan 12-year-old and, while I did drink with both hands initially (didn’t want to spill a drop of that lovely nectar), soon after sipping my drink a few times, the tremors faded away for the rest of the meal.
I have been on a prescription medication that initially seemed to reduce them, but the effect did not last long. After seeing a neurologist, he suggested changing to a different medication that I am on now. While the hands still shake, we are titrating up until we max out the dose or, hopefully, get this “…whole lot of shaking going on…” under control. As I type this, there are many times when I have to go back and correct a word as my trembling fingers have added a letter here and there.
Chores around the house, once a joy to perform as it helped me feel useful, now seem more difficult, often impossible, to perform. Today I tried (emphasis on tried) to put up some curtain rods in both upstairs bedrooms. It did not end well as my shaking kept me from doing the simplest task that I’ve done many times before in the past. To add to it all, recently I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and placed on medication to correct the level of thyroid hormone in me. With the initial dose, I felt some improvement (I had been getting tired very easily along with other symptoms), but a recheck of my blood levels had the PA raising the dosage. Once again, initially I felt fine, but as that level increased the longer I was on the increased dose, my body went crazy!
Ladies, I have an inkling of what you go through in menopause; there are times when the top of my head starts to feel warm (almost hot), then the sensation seems to sweep down to affect the rest of me. Boy howdy, is that a rush or what? Sweat follows and then, with the air-conditioning, I get cold. Are we having fun yet?
So, I go on hoping that my thyroid and I will reach an accommodation and that the tremors will finally be gone. Until then, I am (as ever) grateful for a loving and patient wife who puts up with my silliness. The frustration I feel can result in an angry outburst, but today I was able to remember what Amy Gressler has been teaching me and was able to calm myself and avoid such behavior that I know hurts my beloved. Recently I began taking a yoga class at Hope Community Church through the Military Family Ministry they have there. It is intended for Veterans and their spouses and has taught me yet again that yoga is a great cardio workout for me. The instructor, toward the end of the class, gave us a calming mantra to remember that seemed to rub me the wrong. It was; “I am in control, I am safe.” As a disciple of my King, that just didn’t fit with who I strive to be in Him. So, I changed it to something more biblical; “I am in Christ, God is in control; my future is secure as Jesus owns my soul.”
The journey continues…
The journey continues…
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