Just breathe...

​One of the ways that I have begun my healing journey is through the Yoga Warrior class through the wonderful folks at the Military Family Ministry at Hope Community Church.  Every second and fourth Thursday I continue to stretch the envelope on my ligaments (gently though) and learn to be aware of my breathing.  We all do it but have you ever stopped, closed your eyes and concentrated on each breath as it enters and exits the body.  Of course, this is similar to what Amy Gressler at Harbor Reins has been teaching me as well as part of the Equine Therapy.  Being more cognizant of the NOW, the sensations of air moving past your body as well as the movement of the body (and the horse beneath you).  Amy had me matching my breaths with that of the horse; it amazed me how once I’d done that, it seemed the stress and tension just flowed away.

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​Coming home from the Warrior Yoga class tonight, a song played on HIS Radio (107.7 here in Durham) that has always reminded me that no matter the pressure to DO, all I need to do is “…just breathe…”  Breathe is one of those songs that not only is firmly based on Scripture, but is a reminder in today’s chaotic world, that peace IS possible.  The mantras that the Yoga instructor has taught us I have replaced with another reminder that is far more biblical:

​“I am in Christ,
God is in control;
My future is secure,
Jesus owns my soul.”

​Amy sent me a self-evaluation to go over again (I’ve done it before as it is a good measure of where I am in the healing process).  Considering where I was when I first started with Harbor Reins and now, the difference is night and day.  Most of the nightmares, the self-loathing and ennui, are fading replaced by a knowledge of who I am in Christ and where I am NOW.  It fills me with gratitude to my God for directing me as he has in ‘finding’ Harbor Reins and Warrior Yoga as those two have had much to do with how far I have come in the past months.  I am also thankful to an incredible woman who has put up with me over the years (yeah, she even stuck it out while I was in prison for about 24 ½ years), but mostly I am grateful to a God, who took me in my filth and welcomed me with open arms.  And, though I do continue to blow it (oy vey, how I still blow it at times!), he is there telling me, “Just breathe.”
The journey continues…