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Mud or Stars?

4/20/2014

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"For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."

2 Corinthians 4:17, 18 ESV

Jay Thomas, lead pastor at the Chapel Hill Bible Church, taught Resurrection Morning on this Scripture which may seem somewhat off topic, but was in fact directly on topic.  In the above verse Paul has the temerity to describe the day-to-day struggles and suffering so many go through as “…light and momentary…”  Where does this man get off saying such to those enduring cancer, horrific pain from injury, the loss of a deeply loved spouse, or any of a myriad such that occur every day on this sad planet called Earth?  Is Paul mad to say such or just incredibly cruel and heartless?

As with any successful study of Scripture, context is vitally important and such is especially true here as well.  Earlier in this same section of 2 Corinthians, Paul states:

“Since we have the same spirit of faith according to what has been written, “I believed, and so I spoke,” we also believe, and so we also speak, knowing that he who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and bring us with you into his presence. For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God.”

2 Corinthians 4:13-15 ESV

If ever there was an example of anyone who suffered throughout the history of Earth, it would be that of Jesus.  He is described elsewhere as a man of sorrows acquainted with grief and using such language to describe God seems as mad as Paul’s statement above.  But is it?  Did Paul and other writers of Scripture have an understanding we often lack?  Looking at Paul’s life as an apostle to Christ we see a man who did indeed suffer through beatings and persecution and even an attempted assassination via stoning; yet Paul describes this and all such suffering (earned or otherwise) as “…light and momentary…”  Why? 

Perspective can lift our eyes from the mud of daily life to the glory and wonder of what is coming; Paul leads up to his dramatic statement above by reminding us of the one truly innocent man who suffered far beyond any imagining and did so not out of duty, but from an overflowing of the love of God toward mankind throughout history, worthy or not.  His sacrifice benefits us by extending an invitation to enter into God’s presence throughout eternity when we did nothing to deserve it, often quite the reverse! 

“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 ESV

It is all too easy to “…lose heart…” when we or those we love suffer or are treated unfairly, but Paul challenges us here not to lose heart, but to look beyond today into eternity.  He seems to be telling us to live for what is to come more than what we may be facing now, this perspective can dramatically affect how we react to any perceived slight or illness.  Jay spoke of the difference between looking at an anthill in the plains of West Texas versus the majestic reach of Mount Everest in the Himalayan Mountains.  As the writer of Hebrews stated;

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Hebrews 12:1,2 ESV

Jesus looked forward to what was to come and not only endured, but embraced the cross that He would open the way Home for us and when we focus on eternity, on the “…eternal weight of glory…” to come, we too can lift our eyes from the mud of today into the glory of forever.  Years ago I heard a bit of verse that has stayed with me and it seems to fit what Paul is speaking to, so I’ll share it here:

“Two men looked through prison bars, One saw mud, one saw stars” (Oscar Wilde)


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End of a Dream?

4/18/2014

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I’ve been ‘silent’ regarding my blog for some time now; the last few weeks have been crazy wild in many different ways and I just didn’t seem to have the energy to spare to do much of anything but get through another day.  I’ve had some really positive things happen, such as finding our new home, arranging financing and closing this past Wednesday (thanks to the Kemble Team at Go Durham and Anne Watson of Sun Trust) and some not so great including discovering the ‘joys’ of shingles.

My biggest disappointment has been a decision from the NC Real Estate Commission to deny my being licensed as a real estate agent after much time, money and effort put forward to achieve that goal.  It seemed like a heaven-sent opportunity to avoid the “thou shalt not hire ex-felons” that I’ve encountered over 450 times in the last few years since my release and, while I knew that because of the felony on my record it would not be an automatic licensure once I’d completed the Pre-Licensing Class (Chris Barnette’s class at Go School ROCKS!!!) and passed the state exam.  All of that was accomplished this past July and I eagerly (silly boy) awaited the Commission’s response to my application.

When that response did come it was the most severe possible.  They essentially said that I lacked the requisite characteristics required of real estate agents (honesty, integrity, good moral character among others), but if I wanted to contest that I was welcome to do so.  Many encouraged me to pursue this and after consulting with my beloved, elected to do so by consulting with Bill Gifford to represent me before the Commission. 

We gathered witnesses, several of whom knew the old Tony BP/BC (Before Prison/Before Christ) as well as those who I’ve come to know and love since my release.  Bill spoke with those witnesses and I began to feel an inkling of hope that this would work out for us even with what seemed willingness on the part of the counsel for the Commission to retry my case all over again as part of the hearing.

We all arrived at the Commission’s office on Navajo Drive in Raleigh and I was humbled and encouraged by the statements made by the witnesses on my behalf.  Those listening, including the Board members, also seemed impressed by the caliber of those testifying for me and I began to feel we had a good chance of carrying the day.  Then it was my turn; it seemed from the start that the Counsel and his assistant were indeed focused solely upon my trial from 1988 and hammered again and again at my statements and behavior back then.  What was especially frustrating for me is how they seemed to ridicule my faith in Christ and the efforts I’ve made to volunteer with different organizations as just a ploy used in order to gain favor to obtain my real estate license.

When the Commission’s counsel presented their case it only got worse as they dragged every negative thing they could find regarding my past behavior and my lack of candor regarding my crime until recently.  As they closed their case against me, they posted on the overhead projector an email I’d sent to the Commission as part of my application for licensure where they claimed I’d not taken responsibility for my crime.  I can understand why someone who did not know me would think that, but this seemed to seal my chances to obtain a positive outcome from the Commission.  Bill did a wonderful job of summing up the evidence of my change over the years, but I felt it was not enough when I looked at the Commissioner’s faces as they listened.

We waited for about two hours (I think that’s about how long it took for them) and when they came in it was with grim faces and the Chairman of the Commission confirmed it when he declared that I was not to be granted a license to practice as a real estate agent.

What happens now?  I really have no idea except to once again start pumping out resumes in the hopes of finding full-time work.

One thing helped provide some perspective on the events of that day; the Maundy Thursday service at the Chapel Hill Bible church in which I participated as a member of the choir began within two hours of the ending of the hearing.  We’d had our usual weekly rehearsal the evening before the hearing and having the hearing bookmarked (as it were) with both the rehearsal and service in which we focused upon the only Person ever to be totally innocent and yet treated so unfairly was an opportunity for me to reflect on eternity versus today.  Yes, what my wife and I endured that day was tough, but the King is still on the throne and has a purpose and plan for me that is yet unseen, but no less glorious.

Stay tuned…


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    Former submarine sailor, paramedic and nurse who journeys toward the horizon ever hopeful, though at times less sure, of reaching that far place.  

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