"I do believe. Help my unbelief."

In Mark 9, we see Jesus and some of his disciples coming down from the transfiguration, returning to the valley of every day as it were.  Immediately they are confronted with his disciples arguing with some scribes, a distraught father, and a possessed son.  Despite the other disciples best efforts (THEIR BEST EFFORTS), the son still had not been delivered.  Jesus’ reaction to his disciple's unbelief and lack of faith is rather harsh, but understandable;
“O unbelieving generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring him to Me!”                                                                                                                                                                       Mark 9:19 ESV
Think of it; here, nearing the end of three years walking, talking and living with Jesus, they still did not get it!  How obtuse or lacking in faith they must have been! 
How often have any of us used such language (even if only in our minds) directed toward another disciple of Jesus?  We, as a group (the church) far too often do ‘shoot our wounded’ instead of coming alongside them to support and encourage. 

In recent weeks, Kathy and I have been through some challenges that tore at our hearts and even our faith at times.  I remember crying out to God over and over for C.J., only to receive such dire news from the veterinarian that there was only one option left.  Yes, she was ‘just’ a cat, but these little creatures do put their paw prints on your heart, and after almost 13 years, she had become my precious little girl.  As I recorded earlier in my blog, it was with many tears that we bid C.J. goodbye. 

When the hand tremors ceased for a time, the rejoicing at what God had done (especially when Pastor Ethan’s lesson the next Sunday was an exclamation point on what had happened), but then they began to return.  Over a few days they would increase and decrease; my prayers, my crying out to God did reduce the recalcitrant tremors, but they did continue to increase until it was at the point where I had to revert to using a spoon to eat with once again.  After discussing this with Kathy, I began taking the Primidone again.  More and more I had started to identify with those apostles as they received the tongue lashing from Jesus.  After all, have I not walked with him these 30 years?  Haven’t I learned ANYTHING?

Then, reading further, I saw how Jesus spoke with the father;                                           
21 And He asked his father, “How long has this been happening to him?” And he said, “From childhood. 22 It has often thrown him both into the fire and into the water to destroy him. But if You can do anything, take pity on us and help us!” 23 And Jesus said to him, “‘If You can?’ All things are possible to him who believes.”                                                                                                                  Mark 9:21-23 ESV

The father, seeing how the disciples had been unable to deliver his son, plead with Jesus the most poignant prayer in Scripture, “But if you can do anything…” What is important to see, is not the lack of bold faith on the part of the father, but that Jesus dealt with him very gently.  The father’s response mirrors my own in many an occasion;
24 Immediately the boy’s father cried out and said, “I do believe; help my unbelief.”  Mark 9:24 ESV
 
I do feel that I have failed a test, but how Jesus spoke to the father with his mixed message prayer is very reassuring to me.  Whenever any of us pray, it is often with a measure of unbelief.  Jesus can take that small bit of faith (mustard seed anyone?) and work with that.  For that, I am grateful to my King whose beneficence is beyond our understanding.

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Grace is a wonderful thing.
 
The journey continues.