Recently the Triangle Area, where I live, received a gift from our neighbors to the north that had the shelves of all of our local groceries emptied of milk and bread (why those two I've never understood).  All the local meteorologists predicted anywhere from 3 to 6 inches and most of the media outlets made it seem as though life as we know it was about to end. 

The week before they'd predicted another Snowpocalypse and when I looked out the back window the next morning (I'd not noticed anything when I looked out the front window), I was able to detect several flakes of snow on the trash can lids.  This Snowmageddon was more pronounced, but less than that predicted (to be fair, as with other 'sciences' there is as much art as science to their work).  I'd been volunteering at RDU with the USO-NC and left there at around 10:00 PM to drive home through the most snow I've seen in over ten years.  As I'd learned years before when spending winters in Great Lakes, Illinois and Ballston Spa, NY, taking it slow, staying off the brakes and making large radius turns can usually keep you going safely.  Often the biggest challenge is avoiding those folks who think they are masters of the road in their SUVs (one who flew past me doing about 70), but thankfully I did arrive at home safely by 11:00PM (usually a 15 minute drive).  

Life is like that, we do the best we can and trust that we will arrive safely at our expected destination, but sometimes we encounter someone or something that can detour us so that, at best, our destination changes.  I've had multiple such detours, many not so pleasant, but some have been better than the expected destination.  Part of my difficulty is my time 'inside' pounded into me a sense of inferiority that is incredibly difficult to overcome; I expect to fail because society has, for the most part, labeled me as such because of my record.  Both of the 'forks' I have before me will challenge that sense of worthlessness as they involve endeavors that I've never done before and I'm sure there are those like the idiot in his SUV who go racing around with little regard for who they are possibly chasing off the road.  Part of the challenge is keeping going despite such and believing in myself as so many others do.

Stay tuned.

Is there ever such a thing as a simple decision, what I've referred to myself (when it wasn't me having to make the decision) as a 'no brainer?'  I've often been confronted with decisions that seemed easy to make, but right now I am faced with one that has me more than flummoxed.  

Since May 09, 2011 I have floundered from one disappointment to another in a seemingly fruitless search for meaningful work only to be confronted with the fact that once some potential employer finds out about my felony, I get a sometimes polite "No."  Part of the problem is that I am no longer a spring chicken (perhaps a sprung one) and that a back injury suffered while working as a nurse and paramedic BP (before prison) was worsened by the quality of health care I received while a guest of the state.  This precludes me from being able to do the usually starting positions folks in my situation gravitate to (dishwasher, manual labor, construction, truck driver, etc.) and had been hoping to take advantage of my previous professional background combined with my obtaining an Associate of Science in Computers while incarcerated to find some kind of office work.  The level of my naiveté was matched only by the depths to which I crashed when, after over 400 turn downs and it seemed the only regular form of income I could expect would be from the Social Security Administration if I chose to retire early.  Unfortunately because of my extended stay within the Department of Correction, that was limited to $700 per month.  

One avenue that seemed at least a good possibility, real estate, is seeming less so now secondary to a steeper and steeper hill to climb to convince the Real Estate Commission that I am worthy of the trust involved in such a position.  The folks at the company that would be the presumptive place I worked from have been extraordinarily helpful and supportive; some even to the point of helping me raise funds for the battle and including me in the family at the office.  In many ways I would really enjoy working within this company, either as an agent or even in an administrative role (I am currently working in that role as a kind of unpaid intern which role I've really enjoyed).  But as the delays until the hearing continue (what was originally scheduled for August, 2013 is now set for April 17, 2014!) and the bills continue to get higher (thankfully with my wife's salary as a nurse, we are able to just keep our noses out of the water), I keep wondering if this is the direction to go in and if there are any alternatives.

One option has appeared this week courtesy of another friend and I am scheduled to speak with the president of the company next week about the advertised position.  If the interview goes well and I am offered this position, what do I do?  It would be very different from that which I'd hoped would be my career as a real estate agent, but in some other ways somewhat more attractive (for reasons I won't go into here).  If ever there was anyone needing the wisdom that only comes from God, I definitely qualify.  Prayers invited and welcomed!

Family.  The word brings to mind different connotations to different people, often our image of what ‘family’ is can be colored by our own experiences while growing up as well as by what we observe in our culture and (as skewed as it can be) the images of ‘family’ from the entertainment media.  Whatever source we use to define what ‘family’ is and whatever grouping that consists of, the one thing that most can agree upon is that there are bonds that hold those individuals that make up ‘family’ together.

From the late 1950s and through the 1970s television brought to us images that reflected what was then considered the norm, at least to those the Madison Avenue ad agencies identified as their best market, through such programs as Father Knows Best, Leave It to Beaver, The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet as well as others of the same genre.  One program, My Three Sons, was for their time an experiment in stretching the limits as they explored the ‘family’ unit without a mother, substituting a curmudgeonly grandfather who lived with the father and his three sons. In every instance, yes even on such programs as Mister Ed, the relationships within the ‘family’ were emphasized and the manner in which the action played out emphasized the emotional as well as physical ties within the ‘family’.  What we view as ‘family’ has changed, perhaps more dramatically in recent years than ever before.  Programs such as All in the ‘Family introduced how even through such dysfunctional relationships as that between Meathead and Archie, ‘family’ was still ‘family’.

In my life I have experienced differing types of ‘family’, not only the allegedly ‘typical’ ‘family’ that was the Shook ‘family’ that I grew up in (with its’ own level of dysfunction and camaraderie at times), but in the military through my ‘‘family’’ on submarines I served on or other groupings that came and went in which we relied upon each other to get a particular mission or objective accomplished.  A recently released movie purporting to tell the story of a Special-Ops group, Lone Survivor, emphasizes the emotional and physical ties that can exist within such a collection of people when struggling against a common foe; in this case a collection of people from disparate backgrounds who are welded into a unit that remains faithful in defending each other against an overwhelming enemy.  Such is ‘family’; a uniting to accomplish a goal and/or to fight against a common foe no matter the differences each has with the other members of the ‘family’.

Support and succor highlight the ‘family’; we care for one another no matter what those outside the ‘family’ may say or think.  A phrase from yet another early show, Wagon Train, comes to mind to describe this, “…circling the wagons…”  The often acrimonious relationships within the different wagons or between different families in different wagons were forgotten when the wagon train came under attack.  The individual families in their own wagons would circle to form a defensive perimeter from which they would together fight to defend each other from attack by whatever villains the writers had conjured up for that particular weeks’ episode.  Those wounded would be cared for by the ‘family’ making up the entire wagon train; those killed would likewise be mourned by them all.

Yes, I’ve been part of many different types of ‘family’ in my life and it is likely that I will continue to join others as time goes on.  Recently, however, I have become part of some ‘families’ that have done much to help me realize that ‘‘family’’ can mean many different things, but all have that one thing in common; supporting one another through the various trials and vicissitudes of life.  A burden shared is halved, a joy is doubled; that is what I am discovering in my most recent families; whether the men of the Friday morning Bible Study at the Chapel Hill Bible Church (www.biblechurch.org), members of the Cary Life Group associated with the Bible Church or my most recent ‘‘family’,’ the incredible collection of folks that make up Go Realty (www.gorealty.biz).    

Because of wrong decisions over thirty years ago, many (most?) in society today view me in a certain manner, but those in my ‘families’ have come alongside me to support and encourage me in ways that still amaze me.  Belonging to these ‘families’ has given me a sense of worth and value that I’d not expected because they have come to know me and recognize that no matter what my past has been, my future is bright as part of their ‘families’.  Much as the invitation that Jesus gives, they too invite me to belong, to participate in their ‘family’ and grow with them individually and collectively.  Family; I like it.